Prompt 1: Video – Monica Lewinsky Ted Talk – The Price of Shame (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H_8y0WLm78U)

“Public humiliation as a blood sport has to stop…”. How does one truly guard against an overzealous government demanding private data and information? Where does one draw the line in seeking “justice for all” versus the skewed lines of self-righteous justification redefining supposedly, universally accepted truth? Engaging in a meaningful conversation these days seemingly mandates a warning sign, “Enter at Your Own Risk!”. Be it “my” gain at “your” demise or humiliation. Therein lies a sense of the vanquisher strutting over the vanquished. What transpired in the saga of Ms. Lewinsky, I remember very well. Not only was the sideshow mercilessly played out in the parlors of government, liberals versus conservatives. We had a front row seat as the networks’ television and radio presence, sans the advent of the social media revolution, jockeyed for ratings in the coverages coupled with dramatic color commentaries. And the ratings kept on going up, locally, nationally, globally. Whether we care to admit it or not, those of us that watched it, on so many levels it appealed to our innate nature, good and bad. This which played out in 1992 would have been a massacre in today’s socially connected instant insatiable desire to gorge on such news that strokes the emotional fuse of many. The ability to hide behind a device and indiscriminately troll another human being… well sadly, we see many expressions of that today. Cyberbullying, fabrication of news, fake news, bandwagon jumpers all with no sense of doing integrity fact checking. It has become “normalized”, pick up the pieces later. If ever.
It takes a deeply committed individual who would foster a strong moral fortitude in wanting to cater to the redemptive quality of his fellow human. One that would oppose the beastly nature of readily ripping them apart for all to see. That individual among a group of likeminded individuals forms a community. Therein lies influence, and the power to change their surroundings and hold themselves and each other accountable. Including the government. It is a challenging task admittedly, when so much of what plays out in cyberbullying takes place at the highest visible public levels of government. If they, do it, then why be concerned about us peons at this level? Because we are all connected. The abused and the abuser. The weak and the strong. The sinner and the “saint” (pun intended). We have the power to effect change. The constitution when truly understood, intentionally exercised, advocated for, and patiently walked through, still works for both the peons and those that “represent us”. Holding them accountable is enabled through the ballot boxes, voicing our opinions to our representatives verbally and clearly documented. Debating intelligently, holding the line based on past experiences, failures, and successes; in ensuring that the system of checks and balances administers compassionate true justice for all.

Prompt 2: Video – To This Day Project – Shane Koyczan (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sa1iS1MqUy4)

My son: “Dad, this kid at school keeps picking on me!”
Me: “Okay, what is he doing to you?”
My son: “He calls me names, takes my lunch, and I fight back, but he is bigger than me!”
Every parent’s nightmare, or perhaps every parent’s opportunity to get meaningfully involved in coming up with a solution. But at what level exactly. Providing some context, this was my son’s elementary school years by the way.
Me: “Son, did he physically put his hands on you?”
My son: “Yes dad he did!”
Me: “How so? Show me.” I knelt to his level, and my son promptly came up to me and
pushed me in the chest with all his little might. “You sure son that’s what he did?”
My son: “Yes dad!”
Me: Weeeeell momma was not around to keep me in check. So, I said, “I’ll show you how
to deal with that!” Making sure we had enough open space around me with no
obstacles, “Okay son, come at me again just like your bully did.” My son came at me to
push with all his might (not sure if I truly became the bully in his mind at that time, but
his eyes were menacing). And just before he made contact with my chest, I sidestepped
to one side, turned and grabbed his little hands, using the momentum of his own
motion, pulled him forwarded and stuck my right foot out to trip him. He landed flush
on the carpet, and his face had this frightful stunned expression on it. He then suddenly
jumped up, looked at me and said, “Daddy, do that again! Again! I got to learn this!”
Now before you label me a half twit terrorist instigator, I immediately felt like my wife
was proverbially in the room doing just that! The excitement my son had from this one
episode, made me feel like a hypocrite that went against everything we tried to teach
him about taking the high road, turning the other cheek, and most important of all…
what was this other kid’s story? We talked about this at the family table and wow, so
many teachable takeaway moments.

Shane Koyczan story echoes an all too familiar tone. Being careful to not be tone deaf to key points he articulates, it helps in formulating an effective response. I do believe that the bullying in all it forms (face-to-face and cyberspace) should be mandatorily a part of teacher’s professional learning (PL) every school year. This PL should not be passive in just giving out information, but rather have the teachers actively doing role play on both sides (the abuser and the abusee). Case studies should be timely reviewed, and appropriate grade level examples picked for the students to review and discussed in a Socratic forum of their peers and parents. With access to an unlimited budget, parents that are concerned about not getting paid for missing work, a good faith scholarship remittance could encourage their participation. Empathy is a quality that gets shifted to the side or totally ignored in our relationships with each other at all levels. Bullying is a relationship problem. Cyberbullying amplifies those problems when the individual(s) believe they can get away with it without being detected or discovered. Parents must be trained in becoming knowledgeable about the online environment their kids interact with. Where, what, who, when, and how must be known. And if they have questions, become suspicious, and are not sure of what is afoot with their kids, then they will have a predetermined plan and means of support to/from the child abuse authorities in allaying those concerns. But above all, the loop between educator, student, and parents need to be healthily connected, regularly utilized, and normalized weekly, ensuring the practice of being a great digital citizen is practiced at all times.
By the way, in short, my kid’s bully it turned out was a kid that had no father figure in his life. I found this out when I attended a dads’ and kids’ donuts day at the school (and talking with the teacher). My son and I got to know him much better, and eventually mentored him for a while. They became good very buddies. And I, I would like to think, became a better dad for it.

References

Koyczan, S. 2013. To This Day. TEDTalks. Retrieved from: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sa1iS1MqUy4

Lewinsky, M. 2015. The Price of Shame. TEDTalks. Retrieved from: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H_8y0WLm78U

Struglinski, S. 2006. Schoolyard Bullying has Gone High-Tech. Desert News. Retrieved from: https://www.deseret.com/2006/8/18/19969197/schoolyard-bullying-has-gone-high-tech

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